Top 5 moments I did not ‘play it cool’
Rom-coms often make men the goofy one in the relationship — then there’s me
Writer’s note: This post was first published on Medium’s “Tickled” on May 18, 2022 and will now be permanently housed on Substack’s new “Tickled” column.
If you watch rom-coms enough, you’ll often notice that the guy is usually the clumsy, goofy one who is trying to get the woman’s attention. It’s fun to watch, but I often appreciate the Issa Raes of the world — the women who know they’re nowhere near as smooth as they think they are and just own it. Although I’d like to believe I’m somewhere in the middle, these are the five moments I absolutely did not play it cool.
‘Baywatch’ running is harder than it looks
In the ’80s TV show “Baywatch,” beautiful women run up and down the beach like the sand is as smooth as a laminate floor. In reality, it doesn’t always work like that. I’d rolled up the pants legs of my capris and decided to show off my athleticism. I was originally walking side by side with a childhood sweetheart. But I had the bright idea to leap onto a nearby rock and jump down where he’d meet me on the other side. Hopping onto the rock was no problem. But when I jumped down, I landed right on my face. Sand splashed onto my shorts, shirt, in my hair and my face. And he busted out laughing so hard that he had to sit on that same rock to get his composure.
Although he kept on randomly laughing, and at one point reenacting the fall, he stopped trying to be extra smooth and let loose. Because I never know when to leave well enough alone, on our way back to that same set of rocks, I leaped right back on and jumped again — and landed on my feet. He cheered loudly and clapped. We sat on the other side of the rocks and kissed one time — then a police cruiser rolled up to honk and tell us the beach was closed. So much for romance.