Funniest moments with my 100-year-old great great aunt
Not every comedian is standing onstage
Writer’s note: This post was first published on Medium’s “Tickled” on August 4, 2022 and will now be permanently housed on Substack’s new “Tickled” column.
I can’t say I always knew my great great aunt was funny. Her wit was a little spicier. I had to get a little older to catch it when she threw it. But sometimes she’d have me in tears without even trying to be humorous. Here are my top five moments with the woman who called me her “little chocolate cake.”
An interesting take on Heaven
My grandfather (who lived to be 95) was funny as hell to me. This, I knew, from an early age when he randomly told me, “Da Punkin, Heaven sounds boring. I don’t want to eat anybody’s milk and cookies. I’d rather go where they serve BBQ and beer.”
I didn’t think anybody could top this comment until my great great aunt — again clear out of nowhere — leaned over and said, “If all those people are up there [in Heaven], isn’t it crowded?” The look on her I-hate-a-crowd face makes me wonder where in the world their spirits ended up. (Side note: She flirted with my grandfather many many times after both were widowed, and my grandfather came to one of her birthday parties suited n’ booted and flirted right back.)
Not sure the doctor approved of this form of physical fitness
My great great aunt started having problems with her legs when she was in her eighties. I remember her walking on a cane occasionally and a walker sometimes. Other days, she would stroll around with neither. I came over one day, flopped down on a wicker chest at the end of her bed and asked her “What’s up?”
She told me her doctor said she needed to be more physically active so her legs would be in better shape. Without another word, she bolted from her La-Z-Boy chair, took off running at top speed, yelled “Whee” and jogged from her bedroom to the living room to the kitchen and back into the chair. She sat down again and asked me for the remote so she could watch TV. Meanwhile I was on the floor, laughing.