Please stop scratching your butt in public
Please stop scratching your butt in public
How have I become the Weirdo Whistler?
Writer’s note: This post was first published on Medium’s “Tickled” on October 3, 2022 and will now be permanently housed on Substack’s new “Tickled” column.
If there is a weirdo in any crowd, there’s 100% chance he will find me. Like having a dog whistle, they flock to me as though I’m making Weirdo Whistle noises. I thought about that recently while I stood in line at a Dollar Tree. I knew I’d only be in this store for a solid five minutes and purposely got in a line where I could clearly keep my leashed dog in my line of view.
I hadn’t been in line for 60 seconds before the guy in front of me reached his hand behind him, slid it inside of the back of his jeans, and repeatedly scratched his bare butt. Crack out. No underwear in sight. I shook my head and walked to the next line. Six foot distance and social isolation couldn’t compete with his antics. There was no way in hell I was going to risk touching anything that man touched before he left the store. My regrets to the unknowing cashier.
Recommended Read: “Leashing dogs to run errands? No thanks ~ Why I gave up on bringing my dog along for short tasks”
This isn’t the first time that someone has either been completely oblivious or just didn’t give a damn about public viewing near me. By now, a considerable amount of readers already know I got duped into sitting next to a completely erect man on an airplane.
Recommended Read: “No, I’m not obligated to switch plane seats ~ The awkward plane experience that made me refuse to switch seats again”